The cross is the way we find life.  It is counterintuitive.  We think life must be found some other way.  Our Lord taught us that taking up the cross is the secret; in losing our life we find it, in dying we live, our resurrection follows our death on the cross.  The way of the cross is still foolishness to the world, avoided by professed disciples, shunned by those hungry for position and power, and neglected by those called to proclaim it.  Keep trying to find yourself and enjoy the frustration.  Discover losing yourself and find eternal joy and eternal life.

“Then Jesus said to His disciples, ‘If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it’.” Matthew 16:24-25 (NASB)