Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit” John 12:24 (ESV).  There is something in us that must die before we can truly live.  We turn away from our cross in horror; He set His face like a flint and resolutely walked to His cross.  He will not force us to that point, but we can freely lay down our life as He laid down His life.  Do it, not begrudgingly, but as an act or worship for what He has done for you.  It is the basis for abundance in your life; it is the path to fruitfulness.  

So the last will be first, and the first last.” Matthew 20:16 (ESV)

But many who are first will be last, and the last first. Matthew 19:30 (ESV)